!UGH! A cold wet nose is thrust upon my early morning dreams. I look at the clock and try to focus on the blue digital numbers. 4:05 a.m. There is still forty-five minutes before the alarm sounds off. I try to ignore the persistent nose nudging under my elbow, desperately wanting and needing my 45 minutes of sleep. Eyes closed, I feel another nudge, this time on my hand that is dangling over the edge of the bed. UGH! Dog slobber. All over my hand. I open my eyes just enough to check the time. Dolce and Amore, with their twin noses within inches of my face, are eyeing me intently. Two sets of eyes, shining brightly, eagerly waiting for me to get up and start the day. My eyes raise to the alarm clock. 4:10 a.m. – 40 minutes left. It’s only been five minutes. I close my eyes and pretend I’m asleep.
Whack! A sand-crusted paw hits the bed, just missing my nose. I am assaulted with dog-paw odor. “Off”! I whisper, not wanting to wake up Malcolm. Amore doesn’t listen and doesn’t care. Another paw joins the first, more sand. I look up, Amore is peering down on me, happy dog drool dripping onto my cheek and neck. UGH! I go to wipe off the wet drops and smear wet sand all over me. UGH! 4:20 a.m. A half-hour nap is my only hope. Amore licks my face, a more persistent dog you’ll never see. She. Wants. Me. Up. NOW! I roll over, implementing the “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me” rule, feeling the rough sand throughout the sheets. UGH! Amore’s determination runs deep, she paws the bed covers, pulling my warm blankets inch by coveted inch off the bed into a soft mass on the floor. 4:37 a.m. I am now freezing, dog-slobbered, sand-covered and wide-awake. Malcolm is softly snoring, oblivious to my wake-up call.
Just then, Dolce leaps up on the bed, clears a sleeping Malcolm, and lands on me. Phoof! The oxygen is squished out of my lungs. I gasp for breath, simultaneously pushing Dolce off me. I manage to turn her around, only to have her victorious wagging tail in my face. UGH! Visions of sleeping extra minutes vanished along with all the air from my lungs. 4:43 a.m. Not to be out done, Amore jumps onto the mattress, her paws digging into Malcolm’s legs for balance. “W.T.F.!” Malcolm is rudely awaken.
4:45 a.m. Five minutes til “Wake-Up with Wally” blasts out the top ten hits on FM 107.9. I shut off the alarm with Wally and crawl out of bed, crawl being the optimal word. The dogs are ecstatic they have early morning company. Malcolm is grumpy from being woken up. I am a snooze button away from being sane.
Just remember, there is no snooze button for a dog who wants breakfast!